I remember attending a festival and getting something to eat. I sat down and laid out a book as I ate. A woman in her thirties came by and sat near me. She looked at my book and began a conversation. We talked for a bit. She asked me what my sign was and I told her I was a Pisces. Her eyes lit up. She seemed very excited.

“Oh, you’re a Pisces!” She clapped. Then she grabbed my hand and began to rub it. I could tell it wasn’t sexual at all. She was not trying to flirt but it still felt weird. She went on about the great things I will accomplish and which signs to avoid and which sign I was going to marry. She said I would become a great person. Outside of which signs to avoid, she gave me a super reading. I can’t lie. I was amped. I left that conversation pretty good about myself. Throughout her reading, I never really asked her a question. She just went on and on.

I did have questions. As the progressed, I realized that she pretty much shooed away anything I wanted to say unless it was a compliment. That evening I realized that she didn’t really say anything specific other than to stay away from people with certain signs. She just said I was going to get married and have children. She didn’t say when, where, or to whom. She said I would be successful but she didn’t say what I was going to be successful in. She said all the great things I wanted to hear. I realized I was duped.

While I have many friends and family members who live by astrology, it’s something I ignored. I don’t even glance at the horoscope section of the newspapers I read. I recall Sunday evenings, my mother and her sisters, and some uncles, watched Walter Mercado who walk around with huge rings on his fingers and capes. Mercado made his money selling hair care products. Our parents would shush us as they listened to Mercado run down the list of horoscope signs. I found him hilarious and earned a few spankings for blurbing out jokes.

I have dated many women who lived in their horoscopes. I have some friends who will avoid people who are born during certain months. Again, while folks around me from several religious and political persuasions have spent a large amount of time learning about astrology, it’s something I ignored. I never really addressed it. I just shrugged my shoulders and nodded my head when a friend or family member bought it up. It is probably the only time I keep my mouth shut.

While it is ancient superstition, many people consider it to be science. Despite no scholary work, studies, experiments, measurements, or any form of the scientific method, people believe astrology to be in the same vein as astronomy. With no proof whatsoever, people tend to believe that astrology is a positive force in their lives. Without knowing where a particular constellation is in the sky, most practitioners of astrology swear that that stars align for their personal gain.

Astrological claims are as ridiculous as religions ones. Yet despite a universal dogma or traditional institution, astrology is still considered a big deal. People play lotto numbers according to what astrologers say. Some presidents have consulted and claimed to have made major policy decisions because of a personal astrologer. Many of us are raised with certain ideas about astrological signs without actually being taught about it any organized fashion. Why is that?

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The twenty-second volume, African-American Classics, the first in the series to feature the work of black authors, has adapted 23 stories and poems by writers such as Langston Hughes, Zora Neale Hurston and W.E.B. Du Bois.

I used to believe there was. I am still a hopeless romantic. I have a friend who can’t produce children, is unemployed, and has a wardrobe that fits in a small suitcase, but somehow he still managed to get married for the third time. If he can find someone, I am sure anyone can. It was stories like this that made me believe there was a soul mate for everyone.

Even before I became an atheist, I began to see holes in this idea and eventually came to the conclusion that this too is nonsense. It’s another “someone is coming to save me” fairy tale. The idea that before we were born, we were all attached to someone through our souls and might meet them on planet earth reeks of exaggerated self importance.

I hear people tell me all the time “I met my soul mate tonight.” Then they start in about someone he or she rarely knows. “This is the one I tell you.” I felt that way several times. I have gotten butterflies about a beautiful and intelligent woman I met somewhere. Although I barely knew her, I somehow felt this strong and overwhelming connection. Well, it’s called being sexually attracted to someone.

I get it though. We all want someone to finish our sentences (actually I don’t). It feels great when my wife knows what I am thinking but that’s not something that she just picked up, it’s because we have been together for so long that I get predictable. Trust me, no one can “sense” what you are thinking of you just met them.

And yes, we have to blame Hollywood for that with all of those romcoms. Let’s not forget Hallmark. There is an entire industry built on making us think we have a soul mate somewhere out there. People pay good money for books on relationship advice and workshops on finding the “one.” So we have to watch out for snake skin oil salespeople. So let me save you some money and avoid all that.

Here is some free advice: dating is a numbers game. The more you date, the more people meet and the more people you get a chance to choose from. It’s not about sparks flying. It’s about finding someone you are comfortable with. It’s about finding someone who wants the same thing you want. It’s about getting along and loving one another. It’s about being happy and fufilled. It’s not magic and it’s not rocket science.

So stop looking for that soul mate and find a human being to love.

People have always considered me to look like they want according to where they were from. I have been mistaken for an Arab, a Persian, an Ethiopian, a Somalian, an Indian, and a citizen of a gang of other countries. I don’t mind. It has gotten me free meals and other swag. Most people assume I am muslim because of how I look. Again, I don’t mind since as soon as I open my mouth they usually take it back. Then they say “oh, you are from NYC” which I am proud of. Another thing about is that I know a gang of people. I have only been in two places in my entire life in which I didn’t know any one. I also love to talk to people and it takes no time for me to get to know someone. I am loud and enjoy joking around so usually I end up being the life of the party.

The other day I attended a conference here in Dayton, Ohio. I had the chance to encounter several people I worked with in the past. Some I have not seen in years. As usual, I was my loud jovial self. I even met a few people who just looked my way. One young Algerian woman swore I was from Algeria after a student and I spent a few minutes discussing Frantz Fanon’s time in that country during the Algerian revolution. I ran into a good friend who I haven’t seen in a while. He was sitting with another gentleman and I quickly introduced myself. Then the old friend and I just starting shooting questions at each other.

You know the routine: where you been? How are you? have you talked to so and so? I talked to him just yesterday? What about that girl I saw you with? Oh, it was your birthday? While we asked and answered questions, a gang of people walked up and greeted me. It’s the usual thing for me? I will admit that I felt bad for leaving the other guy but I haven’t seen my friend in close to a year. So I apologized to him. That was a bad move.

“Brother, are you a muslim?”

“No,” I said quietly, “not at all. I get that alot, though, since I look like I am from the middle east.”

“No, you a brother,” he continued,”that is clear.”

I knew where this was going so I rewound the conversation I had with my homie to see if I made any reference to Islam. I couldn’t recall if I did, but I doubt it. If anything, I remember doing alot of laughing and spent a great amount of time talking about fishing. Islam, not one word.

“I know we do that often,” he continued. I could tell he was backtracking. “We like to assume someone is muslim by how they are talking.”

“But —” I started to protest.

“No, I didn’t meant to offend you, brother,” he went on. “I can tell by your spiritual nature that you are on the path.”

I was confused then and I knew it showed.

“I’m saying - ” I tried to protest.

“I am a disciple and you are disciple, so it’s only right that we recognize one another.”

“But I’m an atheist,” I finally said.

His face dropped.

“So I don’t get where you picked up this ‘spirtual nature,’” I went on.

My boy was holding in his laughter because he knew what was coming.

I usually am dressed up for work in a suit and tie. Sometimes it’s a tie and sweater. So I know for many people who are not used to working a business environment or on a college campus, they assume I must be clergy. Again, I don’t get it because when I ran through the hood, I never assumed that someone was clergy because they wore a three piece suit. I don’t speak in a sing songy voice like a preacher. I am loud but my NYC accent is very clear. If I am not at work, I speak in early 90s slang coupled with NGE vernacular which most people have no idea where it’s from.

The idea that I might have this “aura” is complete gobbledygook. What I have learned is that people will categorize you in a fashion they see fit. If they see me walking down the street talking to people, they want to say “he is someone important,” when actually I am the type of person who greets people while walking down the street. While how people perceive other people is usually harmless and it helps people cope, when this worldview is applied to religion it’s actually a part of cognitive dissonance.

I have watched people from different faiths “claim” me for their own. “Oh you must be a man of Christ,” or “muslim” and then when I say I am an atheist, they begin to stutter. Their worldview saw me in a fashion that allowed me to fit within that worldview. Instead of just seeing me as a person and then finding out how I roll afterward, it’s easier for most folks to just put me in a box. Again, it’s harmless in most situations but it will make someone look real stupid if applied in every situation. Or it allows people to say ridiculous things such as “Jesus was Buddhist,” or “everyone is Muslim because we all submit to Allah” without providing a shred of evidence and attempting to sound profound.

whoneedsfeminism:

[I need inclusive, intersectional feminism because I had to scroll through five pages to see the face of another woman of color.]

I don’t mind discussing my de-conversion although I was an apostate way before I was even agnostic. So it is a long, drawn out conversation. Many people assume that many atheists became non believers due to some traumatic experience in the church. Usually this is not the case. Many of us became atheists after several years of questioning, doubting, researching, studying, and yes even praying.

I watch the expressions on people’s faces as I go through the years of doubt and holding onto a belief even though everything told me that it was all myth. I can tell they are getting bored. Many of them are waiting for a story of being abused by a church member or being accused of something I didn’t do. Alas, there are no stories of abuse or being ostracized by people who once loved me. They ask anyway. Some even comment that “it’s okay to come back to the church, we are not like those people,” as if I mentioned a story about how someone mistreated.

No, I just decided after much contemplation that it was all a lie. I didn’t become Saul. There was no epiphany. There was no tell tale moment where I got up and said “it’s a lie!” For many of us, we spend several years sometimes decades grappling with the idea that maybe God doesn’t exist. We struggle with the discomforting idea that humanity is not the most important thing in the universe. It’s daunting. It’s sobering but it’s something we eventually accept.

We all know folks love a good story. Unfortunately, my deconversion just ain’t the story of the week. The same can be said for many of us. And I am a great story teller! I have to point out that when someone asks me how I came to be an atheist, my intention is not convince the other person or anyone else. Most folks assume that it is my intention despite the fact that they asked me how it all went down. That’s a story for another day.

by Deepak Chopra and Leonard Mlodinow

When I saw this book, I had to get it. Here you have Leonard Mlodinow, the co author of The Grand Design versus Deepak Chopra, the world’s preeminent spiritual guru. I didn’t hear about this one making the rounds. To be honest, I am hoping to see more books in this vein. Even before I cracked it open, I knew it would be an interesting discussion.

The book is split into several essays written by either Chopra or Mlodinow. They are allowed to rebuttal one another and the topics remain the same from one argument to another. The book flows well and I realized that I prefer this format instead of a one hour in person debate. This allows both debaters to flesh out their arguments and respond in kind.

I am not a “science guy,” as the children in my daughters class believe. I am a history guy. Once I get into the realm of science I need a children’s map. From experience, I realize that most of us are that way. We aren’t scientists so we aren’t privy to the latest innovations and discoveries unless they have a direct impact on the market, entertainment, or our very lives. After reading Alex Rosenberg’sThe Atheist’s Guide to Reality: Enjoying Life Without Illusions, I realized that problem very quickly. Mypoint being that it’s easy to fall back during a debate with someone about God when they throw a problem a particular scientific theory doesn’t address since we are not familiar with the latest news from scientists. Because of that, we don’t know that usually scientists have found the answers to those problems. Both Rosenberg and Mlodinow are familiar with those latest discoveries and quickly poke holes in the arguments provided by theists.

To say that Mlodinow takes Chopra to task is an understatement. While Chopra is familiar with some scientific discoveries, his interpretation is severely lacking and Mlodinow has no problems pointing that out. For example, Mlodinow is explains how the term evolution is used loosely to describe both a consistent change and a theory. Many New Age gurus use this tactic all the time to try and give their belief system a scientific basis. Throughout the book Mlodinow catches Chopra doing this over and over. Chopra is his usual self. He is witty and uses great analogies to attempt to prove his point. However, like most religious leaders, Chopra is all over the place using parables of ancient sages to drive in his point. It was easy to read Chopra and lose the point of the particular essay I was reading. Thankfully, Mlodinow was able to keep me focused as he always returned to the topic being discussed.

Even as a theist, I still couldn’t figure out why Chopra is so famous. I always found his voice to be soothing and welcoming. It took this book to help me realize that Chopra preaches inclusion. I think that is why people are so attracted to him. While inclusion is a great thing and it is exclusivity that is bleeding out church membership by the thousands, it really muddies the water in this respect. Chopra seems willing to accept any and all beliefs as well as “science” no matter how debunked it may be under his tent. With Chopra, you can believe in leprechauns, a flat earth, and evolution and you are alright.

Still, I hope to see more books written in this format especially between scientists and New Age folks. While we atheists might be able to easily debate Christian and Muslim apologists, it is difficult to debate those who believe in New Age pseudoscience.

by Alex Rosenberg

Book review by Dan Tres OMi

Alex Rosenberg’s book is for non-believers. In the introduction, Rosenberg tells the reader that if they are expecting another book about the fallacy of religion, they should get to stepping. He even avoids the debate and jumps right into how science, or scientism, explains reality. Rosenberg does blow the God of the Gaps concept out of the water. Other than that, he avoids any discussion about religion throughout the rest of the book.

As an atheist, this book was difficult to get through. While Rosenberg is a philosopher, he delves into scientific concepts that is unfamiliar to most. I’m a historian so many of the concepts are way out of my league but that is not really the problem. You can google most of the ideas Rosenberg discusses and get a grasp of what is going on even though it will slow down the reading tremendously. Much of what Rosenberg discusses is very hard to swallow.

He immediately tackles the issue of a core morality very early in the book and explains that a “good nihilism” is what we should focus on. While Rosenberg admits that most of humanity is pushing for a particularly core morality (justice for all despite any differences), there really is no such thing and much of it is relative. This is an argument that many theists will thrown in an atheist’s face when it comes to being a non-believer and it’s one many of us can rebuttal. Rosenberg however feels that we should just admit that there is no such thing.

What I enjoy the most is how Rosenberg discusses why we tend to be conspiracy theorists and how it’s helped us survive through evolution. Humans love stories no matter what it is. We love to hear how things got started with all the drama and minus the scientific theory. It definitely explains why humans cling to so many mythologies. Rosenberg goes on to explain that this is why science fails to convince most people. The “stories” in science are too boring. It’s not dramatic enough although scientists continue to prove that many of these theories are correct without a reasonable doubt. It also helps to explain why evolution is rejected by so many people.

Rosenberg forces this reader to go through the painful chapters about history. He explains how humanity is not moving towards a particular goal sometime towards the end of civilization. That was probably the chapter I had the most difficulty with. Much of the book, I disagreed with since Rosenberg states that no matter how much we study the past, it will have no bearing of the future. Rosenberg even puts introspection on the chopping block. We all know introspection is a cornerstone of philosophy. He pulls no punches.

To be quite honest, the book is daunting and kept me up a few nights. Rosenberg asks the reader to challenge everything they have learned about most things so far. He is urging us to jump off that diving board into some place new. Some of it is sobering and some of it is quite frightening. While many people might disagree with several portions of the book whether a believer or non-believer, I still highly recommend it. I think it was Sam Harris who stated that we shouldn’t focus on debating with theists about the existence of God. They are the ones who have the burden of proof. Harris did say that we should focus on matters of philosophy and science, since it is those two subjects that have the keys to our success. Then again, Rosenberg will probably take philosophy off the table.

But we’re talking about love here, right? What are all these tangents for? It’s a good question and it also explains why most people might cling to religion despite the proof that none of it is true: it’s easier to explain everything. It’s obvious I had to explain so much about an atheist’s lack of belief in God. Again, it’s not because we can’t see God with our physical eyes. There is so much more to our lack of belief than just not seeing.

“Real quick, kind sir,” I continued, “but I asked you for evidence not Bible verses.”

He paused for a long time. He began to shuffle through some pages of his Bible. So I decided to stop him.

“I am not going to argue with you about how you feel,” I went on, “if you feel like a child of God, then thats what you are.”

He smiled. I guess he thought he got me.

“But the thing is, there is no way you can prove it to me unless you can make the blind see and part the Ohio River.” His face fell. “It’s a feeling you have and I can’t measure that. I can look at it through the latest piece of technology used in neurology, but I bet I can find the same waves when you get an orgasm.”

Everyone got quiet.

“I bet a lot of money that if we go to any school, and sit in the back of the class and pick out the young people that are having all kinds of issues and then follow them home, we can see who is getting enough love and who isn’t. That’s measurable right?”

He didn’t say anything.

“I mean we can ‘see’ the love, right?” I used my fingers to emphasize ‘see.’

He nodded.

“Don’t get me wrong, I am kind of generalizing here, but we can see who gets enough love at home whether it’s intentional or not, right?”

“I see your point.”

“So to answer your question, we can see and measure love, but we can’t ‘see’ your God or his results.”

I am still surprised he let me leave.